REDDIT: Butterflies won’t leave me alone now that my older brother has passed away, we used to raise and make pets out of butterflies together.

My brother and I were best friends growing up. He was 4 years older than me, he was my biggest role model.

As a young boy, probably close to being 10 years old, he was absolutely fascinated by butterflies. He took care of them, loved raising them from cocoons, he knew everything about every butterfly. After they would pass away he would keep them because he thought they were beautiful, and loved them dearly. I partook in it merely because I admired my older brother so much and wanted to do everything he did, because I thought he was the best. The butterflies never seemed to care for me much, they’d land on him like crazy but wouldn’t land on me — even when we would go to places like “butterfly world” where they’re used to humans, they would land on everyone except me.

As he progressed into adulthood he struggled with addiction, which ended up making him fall very ill and his body gave up on him – he had a heart attack the last time he used a substance, and he passed away. He still loved butterflies up until then, when he was 23.

Although we weren’t close at this chapter in our lives, as his addiction had really pushed me away — we still talked occasionally when he was going through his good days. The last time I saw him, a few weeks before he died, we were visiting our mom and had brought up ghosts. As we had both always thought her house was haunted. Growing up him and I had many paranormal experiences, which we both saw together and talked about the last day I saw him, they were experiences that made us bond even more since no one else saw these things but us, together. While still being very young, we had moved into a rental for the month, we would play in the attic. We had been in there lots at this point, but one day went up there and it was filled with probably 10 monarch butterflies which we assumed came in through the slightly opened window, we both saw it and were in awe, played with them for a while; but by the next day they were gone. I don’t remember us ever even telling our parents. It wasn’t until I was much older and realized that was very strange. — The visit I had with him before we passed, the topic of paranormal got shifted into reincarnation. He asked if humans could reincarnate into anything, like a butterfly, he wondered. It was a very brief moment, but now that he has passed some strange things have been happening to me and I can’t get the few seconds out of my brain where he mentioned reincarnating into a butterfly.

He passed away in late January, it was still basically winter where we live. Not soon after this, a bright orange butterfly was outside of my house. I thought it was so strange, and it of course didn’t make it due to the cold. I didn’t really give it a second thought, other than how weird it was that there was a butterfly in February. Ever since then butterflies follow me everywhere, it’s gotten to the point where it’s very strange and even the people around me think it’s strange. We are not in a very butterfly-populated place, but they land on my head randomly as I’m walking to work now. They land on my leg when I’m not looking, as I’m sunbathing, and scare the living hell out of me. We went floating down a river in a different town, and halfway down the 3 hour river ride a butterfly landed on my arm rested on the tube. The group of 15 we were with saw it and thought it was so bizarre, none of them could get it to come near them. This morning I got home from work and a very bright, new-looking butterfly was seated on my front step, seemingly unable to fly. It looks completely uninjured but wouldn’t leave, so I fed it and gave it a nice sunny place to rest and it’s still sat outside the door hours later, fluttering around but won’t fly away.

I can’t help but feel somehow my brother is doing this which is a lovely thought, but it makes me filled with so much sadness and grief wishing I could tell him about all these butterflies.

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